Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
