my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize