using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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