remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
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I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize