I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
