I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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