Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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