Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
