He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
