I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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