I love black thongs
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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