Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize