it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
