2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
