So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize