i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
