All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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