I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
