Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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