i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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