there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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