How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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