Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.