i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea