Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
