i would punch a child for taco bell
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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