Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?

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(785): So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor? http://tfl.nu/b721

Replies (13) Good night (586) Bad night (3808)
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(818): View more from California

Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.

(1-818): View more from California

Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.

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(818): Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night. (1-818): Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit. http://tfl.nu/ras5

Replies (10) Good night (1175) Bad night (7397)
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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (2064) Bad night (6090)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.

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(225): We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed. http://tfl.nu/eoiy

Replies (24) Good night (1377) Bad night (5381)
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(334): View more from Alabama

This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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(334): This hangover is way worse than all my relationships http://tfl.nu/m3xj

Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (3467)
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(972): View more from Texas

You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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(972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt

Replies (22) Good night (2251) Bad night (4475)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.

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(+44): Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect. http://tfl.nu/gla7

Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (1817)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants

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(910): If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants http://tfl.nu/gfd8

Replies (5) Good night (1498) Bad night (598)
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(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks

Replies (4) Good night (1662) Bad night (589)
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(559): View more from California

I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.

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(559): I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives. http://tfl.nu/x41u

Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (586)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

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(405): Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting! http://tfl.nu/ctqc

Replies (3) Good night (1315) Bad night (451)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

(847): View more from Illinois

i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

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(773): I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off. (847): i think the last part kind of negates the first part there http://tfl.nu/g7hy

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (344)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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(306): I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer. http://tfl.nu/mo8a

Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (275)
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(716): View more from New York

Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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(716): Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning http://tfl.nu/8997

Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (162)
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(858): View more from California

I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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(858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99

Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (225)

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