Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

(650): View more from California

LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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(415): my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous" (650): LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me http://tfl.nu/uk4o

Replies (3) Good night (2106) Bad night (642)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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(318): dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune (1-318): what drug did you take to come to that conclusion?? http://tfl.nu/bym5

Replies (80) Good night (4341) Bad night (766)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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(402): giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/384y

Replies (57) Good night (4256) Bad night (983)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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(404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80

Replies (59) Good night (770) Bad night (3582)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

(613): View more from Ontario

This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

(613): View more from Ontario

Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

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(613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o

Replies (13) Good night (2922) Bad night (578)
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(226): View more from Ontario

i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.

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(226): i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much. http://tfl.nu/edmc

Replies (24) Good night (5333) Bad night (1020)
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(623): View more from Arizona

everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.

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(623): everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls. http://tfl.nu/6oxa

Replies (37) Good night (5569) Bad night (1473)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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(715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m

Replies (15) Good night (3310) Bad night (1037)
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(214): View more from Texas

I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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(214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv

Replies (7) Good night (4349) Bad night (974)
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(214): View more from Texas

Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

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(214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd

Replies (15) Good night (1021) Bad night (3286)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw

Replies (15) Good night (948) Bad night (2902)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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(508): Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned http://tfl.nu/z9a2

Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (1855)
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(641): View more from Iowa

you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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(641): you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts http://tfl.nu/ee07

Replies (10) Good night (2528) Bad night (813)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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(413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0

Replies (9) Good night (1465) Bad night (626)
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(727): View more from Florida

I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.

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(727): I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER. http://tfl.nu/hytb

Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (238)

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