Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.