is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.