Sponge bath it is.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
