I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
