I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize