Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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