Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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