Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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