During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
