If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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