they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish you could order shots online.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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