Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
