just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
