no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
