I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think my moral compass just broke
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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