I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
false alarm. still invincible.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
