He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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