I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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