hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
