my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
