The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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