I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
