wakey wakey hands off snakey
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
