Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he thought i was a dude.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
