My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
