so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize