Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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