My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
