So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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