how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize