its not stalking. its research.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
