Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
