another moral hangover. fuck.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
