It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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