ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
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Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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