okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
